The Belt and The Toothbrush
Recently I was on a trip for work. I woke up, sprung out of bed, and felt that familiar mix of excitement and nerves. Not nerves about the content itself, but because I always want to make sure my message lands exactly where it needs to—aligned with the goals of the organization and the hearts of the people in the room. I was ready to bring kindness into a new space.
I jumped in the shower, got dressed, and as I reached for my belt, the panic set in. It wasn’t there. I tore through my suitcase, checked every corner of the room, even looked under the bed. Nothing. No belt.
So, I texted Kelly: “Did I leave my belt at home?”
He replied almost instantly: “Yes.”
Dang it, I thought. Well, alright then. I guess I’ll just be hiking my pants up all day. Ain’t no thang.
I laughed it off and went to brush my teeth. That’s when I realized I couldn’t find my toothbrush. Or my toothpaste. I texted Kelly again, and you guessed it—those were sitting on the bathroom counter at home too.
No belt. No toothbrush. No toothpaste.
Out of town. Monday morning. About to lead a professional development session.
That was the fork in the road.
I could let the frustration take over, or I could choose kindness—for myself and for the moment. I took six seconds to pause. (Science tells us that six seconds is long enough for the body to interrupt the stress response and reset emotional regulation.)
In that pause, I noticed three good things:
I was safe.
I was about to lead some amazing work on kindness.
I was in a beautiful place.
Then I picked up the phone, called the front desk, and within minutes they had a toothbrush and toothpaste ready for me. Problem solved.
But it wasn’t really about the belt or the toothpaste. It was about awareness.
So many of us move through our days letting small inconveniences spiral into full-blown stress. We lose our grounding before we even notice what’s happening. That morning reminded me that self-kindness starts in those small, unseen moments—when no one is watching and everything in you wants to overreact.
The truth is, our brains are wired to protect us, not to keep us calm. When something feels “off,” even something minor, the amygdala sounds the alarm. But the good news is that we can rewire that pattern. When we pause, breathe, and reframe, we shift activity from the reactive part of the brain to the prefrontal cortex—the space of problem-solving and empathy.
That morning, I didn’t just find my calm. I practiced it.
5 Ways to Be the Light
Pause before reacting. Take six seconds to breathe before responding to what frustrates you. It interrupts the stress loop.
Reframe the moment. Instead of “this is a disaster,” try “this is temporary.” That small shift changes your whole chemistry.
Find three good things. Gratitude rewires the brain for calm and connection. Notice what’s still good, even in the middle of chaos.
Ask for help. Kindness includes receiving it. Let others support you when you need it.
Choose laughter. Humor softens tension and brings you back to perspective. If you can laugh, you can lead.
Being the Light doesn’t mean everything goes right. It means that even when it doesn’t, you lead with grace, awareness, and kindness. Sometimes the most powerful lessons come from mornings that begin with no belt and no toothbrush.
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