When Leadership Meets Humanity
Brandi Kelly, Ed.D, LCSWFor most of my life, I’ve followed the familiar rhythm of school: the morning bell, the steady pulse of lessons and laughter, and the final ring that sends students home. My roles in this rhythm have changed — from school social worker, to principal, to superintendent — but the routine was predictable.
As I look back on my journey, I think about the people who shaped me. Interestingly, throughout my own school years, I can recall only one female principal — she led my high school. Then, in my first job as a school social worker, I met my Assistant Superintendent. She was also a woman. Sharp, strong, incredibly competent, and unapologetically results-driven.
But here’s the thing — whenever she visited our school, the staff would call a covert “code purple.” It was our secret signal: The Assistant Superintendent is in the building. Tension would rise. Conversations would hush. We were on high alert.
Years later, I became a principal — not for prestige or a paycheck, but to give back to the school where I grew up. Eventually, I stepped into the role of superintendent. It felt like a calling. But with every step upward, I felt something shift — not within me, but in how others saw me.
The higher I climbed, the less I was treated like a person. When I showed vulnerability, the responses stung. "You should expect that; you’re the superintendent.” Or, "Well, that’s why you make the big bucks."
Both statements might be technically true. But they don’t stop words from wounding. They don’t stop loneliness from settling in.
It made me think about that “code purple” again — how we dehumanized our leaders out of fear. Maybe that’s why I, too, became a symbol rather than a person. Somewhere along the way, leadership stopped being about connection and started being about caution.
But it doesn’t have to stay that way. There is a better path forward.
What if we chose to treat each other — regardless of title — the way we want to be treated? What if we replaced fear with kindness, suspicion with understanding, and defensiveness with empathy?
Fear restricts. Love expands. And when we’re honest with ourselves, we often find that fear is fueled by limiting beliefs, past wounds, or our natural negativity bias. But we have the power to challenge that. We can choose to lead with hope.
When we foster connection through love — with all staff, in every role — we build a culture rooted in hope, kindness, and belonging. Because at the end of the day, we are human beings first — before we are teachers, administrators, or leaders.
Start small. Say thank you. Offer a sincere compliment. Show kindness in unexpected ways. Speak up to build connection and community. Protect your peace by setting healthy boundaries. And model the behavior you want to see — in classrooms, in staff meetings, and in the culture at large.
Because here’s the truth: our students are always watching. They learn how to treat others by watching how we treat each other — not just peer to peer, but teacher to administrator, and leader to team.
There is hope for a better future. And it starts with you.
Kindness belongs everywhere — in classrooms, hallways, offices — for everyone.
Let’s lead with HOPE. Let’s spark kindness today.
#LeadwithHOPE
Dr. BRANDI KELLY
Dr. Brandi Kelly brings over 20 years of heart, hustle, and hands-on experience to the world of education. A licensed clinical social worker and Maxwell Certified Coach, she’s worn many hats — from school social worker to principal to superintendent. Along the way, she’s been honored with the NAESP Distinguished Elementary School Principal Award and Middle School Principal of the Year.
Dr. Kelly is proud to be part of inspiring networks like the Illinois Association of School Administrators (IASA), Teach Better Network, Illinois Principals Association (IPA), and the Educational League of Illinois (ELI). She loves sparking change through speaking, writing, and hosting the Lead with HOPE podcast — where she shares real conversations about leadership, resilience, and growth.
Dr. Kelly is building a Community of H.O.P.E.—one action, one connection at a time. Join this movement by signing up for her newsletter- Lead from the Spark @ www.sparkhopeedu.com.
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